[SOCIAL DEATH] Honey Scams & Sextortion: When Intimacy Becomes Digital Blackmail (A Socio-Legal Critique)
Author: Tri Lukman Hakim, S.H | Founder Kuncipro Research
A. The Bloodless Murder
Honey Scams and Sextortion are non-identical twins. They share the same motif: exploiting the weakest point of human psychology—Flattery. There is no woman who gets angry when sweetly courted, and no man who rages when praised.
It is human nature to crave validation, often subconsciously. Yet, many dismiss flattery as outdated or cheesy. So, what does modern flattery look like? It looks exactly like Honey Scams and Sextortion.
They utilize social media—Facebook, X (Twitter), Instagram, Telegram, Tinder, and the like—as the perfect ecosystem for their crimes. When real-world seduction fails (perhaps due to physical limitations), they migrate to the cyber world. A world full of deceit, filters, edited realities, and stolen photos used as "Profile Pictures" to lure victims.
Cybercrime has mutated. In the past, scammers targeted your wallet (Pig Butchering Scams). Today, they target something far more expensive and impossible to buy back: Your "Social Existence."
This is the modus operandi of Sextortion via Honey Scam.
It starts sweetly (The Honey) and ends with a brutal threat:
"Pay $1,000, or I will send your nude video to your Family WhatsApp Group, your social media friends, and your Boss!"
Or worse, they threaten to sell the footage on the dark web.
Strangely, despite these cases recurring constantly, society never seems to learn.
Is the social sanction insufficient?
Or is the law too blunt?
Viral news about leaked intimate videos has become "entertainment" on our feeds. It always ends the same way: The woman releases a tearful apology video, while the perpetrator vanishes without a legal trace.
This is Déjà vu. A societal cycle that repeats the same pattern, treating these tragedies as mere "natural laws."
🚨 Author’s Claim:
I am Tri Lukman Hakim (S.H). As a legal and social observer, I see this phenomenon not merely as a crime, but as "Moral Terrorism." The perpetrators do not kill the victim physically; they kill the victim's character amidst a society that remains largely hypocritical.
Coupled with victims who are easily manipulated, this becomes an unsolvable case. This article is a harsh critique of how our laws and social stigmas actually "assist" both the perpetrator and the victimization process. We will dissect this through the lens of Legal Sociology.
B. Why We Are Trapped in Criminal Déjà Vu
From the perspective of Legal Sociology, a crime never stands alone. It is the product of interaction between three elements:
- The System: Creates the rules of the game.
- The Perpetrator: Exploits the loopholes.
- The Victim: Vulnerable to those loopholes.
The question is: Is this a failure of the Government and Society?
Honestly, I disagree with the word "eradicate." I prefer "closing the entry point." As the saying goes, "Prevention is better than cure." To "eradicate" means we are treating a wound. The problem is, once wounded, the scar remains.
This is why this crime exists in every era: our fundamental failure to prevent the erosion of social order.
a. System Failure: The Bluntness of "Digital Jurisdiction"
The System (Government & Regulators) has failed to close these entry points because we are trapped in "Paper Law" and too slow to adapt to "Digital Law." (This is akin to bringing a wooden club to a laser fight, as discussed in my previous article on AI Crimes).
- Socio-Legal Analysis: Our laws (e.g., Electronic Information Law/UU ITE) are designed for territorial jurisdictions. Sextortion is Global and Anonymous, transcending borders, currencies, and identities.
- Example: A Western man is often idolized by local women. Or a "Korean Oppa" persona. With sweet words, they seduce victims across borders.
- The Verdict: Honey Scam perpetrators (often operating from overseas) know that international law enforcement is slow, complicated, and expensive. Our laws are too territorial to chase threats moving at bandwidth speed. This gap grants the perpetrator Impunity.
b. Perpetrator Failure: Driven by Stigma (The Impunity)
Perpetrators are not just driven by money. They exploit human nature, armed with a high success rate and minimal risk.
- Socio-Legal Analysis: The perpetrator knows that if the video leaks, the victim receives the heaviest punishment. Society will ask: "Why did she record herself?" or "Why is she so cheap?"
- The Verdict: Social stigma creates a "fertile ground" with guaranteed insurance for the criminal. The perpetrator gains three things:
- Money from extortion.
- Satisfaction seeing the victim punished by society without lifting a finger.
- Sexual gratification.
- Social stigma inadvertently becomes an incentive for the crime.
c. Victim Failure: Stigma as a Prison (The Self-Silencing)
Victims fail to seek justice because they are punished before they are even tried.
- Socio-Legal Analysis: Victims know that the "Court of Public Opinion" (Social Media) delivers verdicts faster and more cruelly than the "Court of Law."
- The Verdict: The fear of "Character Assassination" and social ostracization is far greater than the fear of the perpetrator. This causes victims to pay, remain silent, or even commit suicide—creating the déjà vu pattern the perpetrator relies on.
C. Understanding the Two Elements: Law vs. Behavior
Ideally, Written Law (State Law) and Unwritten Law (Norms/Customs) should align. However, in Honey Scams, they are at war.
In this chapter, we focus on Unwritten Law—norms trusted by ancestors and society. Unwritten Law is the first fortress of judgment. Society often judges that A is the victim and B is the perpetrator based on instinct, often hypocritically, without seeing the full context.
a. Written Law vs. Unwritten Law: The Conflict Arena
The failure to handle Sextortion is the fruit of this conflict.
- Unwritten Law (Law in Action): Morals and stigmas act as control. Its weakness? It punishes behavior that violates norms, regardless of the criminal context. It creates Stigma for the Victim because they are seen as violating decency ("Why record yourself?").
- Sociological Verdict: Honey Scams operate in this gap. The perpetrator is protected by the weakness of Written Law, while the Victim is punished by the Unwritten Law.
b. Perpetrator Behavior: Exploiting Stigma as a Weapon
Let’s use a scenario often seen in Indonesia:
- Susi records an intimate video for her online boyfriend, promised a house or car. Instead, the video is sold on the dark web and goes viral.
Society might say Susi is the victim. But the Perpetrator exploits society's double standards:
- Exploiting Written Law: Operating from outside jurisdiction ensures no jail time.
- Exploiting Unwritten Law: The perpetrator knows the threat of leaking the video is more effective than physical violence. Why? Because the Social Punishment (Stigma) inflicted by society is more painful, permanent (digital footprint), and certain than any prison sentence.
Conclusion: The perpetrator effectively outsources the punishment to a hypocritical society.
c. Victim Behavior: Trapped Between Two Threats
If she is a victim, why does society not protect her? Why do they share the link?
- The "Blameworthy Victim" Concept: Society demands an Ideal Victim—one who is innocent. Susi is seen as a "Blameworthy Victim" because she sought material gain (House/Car) and violated decency norms.
- Self-Silencing: The victim chooses silence because the risk of facing Social Punishment is greater and more certain than the risk the perpetrator faces from the law.
D. EPILOGUE
We reach the final chapter. Everything has a reaction. If we unjustly judge others, life will eventually judge us. What we plant, we shall reap.
Stop the vigilantism. Plant empathy. Do not hide behind the label of "Society" to justify cruelty. Be a moral society to repair a social order that is eroding.
Closing Critique: Ending Structural Hypocrisy
Honey Scams and Sextortion will remain Moral Terrorism as long as Written Law and Unwritten Law contradict each other. This critique asserts that the failure to eradicate this crime is not an individual failure, but a structural and collective moral failure.
Reconstructing this obligation is the only way to break the vicious cycle of Impunity, Stigma, and Silence.
(This phenomenon is as disturbing as the "Road Block Party" culture I recently analyzed).
Disclaimer: This analysis is based on Legal Sociology perspectives regarding Cybercrime trends in Southeast Asia.
Source: This analysis is an English translation of an original op-ed by Tri Lukman Hakim S.H, published on the main journal. [Read Original Article in Indonesian]